Being single in your 30s has its upsides despite what your tia may think. It all comes down to how you view your circumstances so it helps to choose to look on the bright side of things. In this post I’m going to share some of the upsides I’ve experienced during this single season of my life with hopes that you’ll also look on the bright side if you’re currently in a similar season to mine.
I decided to take a personal route and share some positive realizations I’ve been having as a single woman. First, I want to acknowledge that we are all on an ever evolving journey. This comes with different sets of challenges in their own right. With that being said, I recently ended a long term relationship with the man I thought I was going to marry. This has been one of the most challenging things I’ve had to do mainly because I didn’t want to hurt him or disappoint my Mexican parents (who have been married for 43 years).
Embracing the single life
Yes, I was thinking more about other people than what my intuition was telling me but eventually, and thankfully, I went through a peaceful break up and we wished each other well. As I began processing the transition that comes after a major life change like that, I eventually realized one eye opening (and almost embarrassing) thing. This is the first time in my adult life (since age 19) that I’ve been single. Like SINGLE lol. Where I’m truly on my own by myself not entertaining anyone or involving myself in a “situationship” (don’t judge me lol).
Anyway, when I had this major realization it all made sense to me. Although yes, I went through the feelings (sadness, grief, etc) from ending an engagement, I have been entering a state of peace and acceptance too. I am a 36 year old First-Gen Latina that’s currently navigating life on my own. Yes, some days are better than others, but I am embracing this season of my life and choosing to focus on the upsides. Continue reading for the 6 upsides of being single in your 30s.
You get to declutter your life
Being single in your 30s most likely means you have the resources to live on your own. Your 20s were a time where you were figuring out what you wanted to do as well as navigating your personal finances so by now you most likely feel more established in that sense. So even if you now live with roommates or have chosen to move back in with your parents, you get to declutter your life on your own terms.
This is the best time to remove things that no longer serve you. It is the perfect time to physically declutter your living space by getting rid of clothes, home goods, etc that you’re ready to let go of. Aside from physically decluttering your home, this is also a great opportunity to declutter your life too :). What I mean by that is looking at your calendar and intentionally choosing how you want to spend your time going forward. Also, deleting old files, pictures, emails from your computer and phone. It’s easy to let time keep passing by accumulating digital stuff in our devices. It may not sound like it, but decluttering your electronic life will make you feel lighter too.
Another important one is decluttering the people in your life. Sounds harsh but I’m mainly referring to your social media lol. Remove people or pages that no longer resonate with you or mute them. You get to choose what you want to keep in your life and what you want to let go of. It may be time to unfriend those acquaintances that you met freshman year in college that you never really talked to.
You have complete freedom over your time and energy
The next upside to being single in your 30s is that you get to do whatever you want whenever you want. You have absolute freedom to spend your days as you wish. Sleep in on weekends or stay up late binging a show you’ve been wanting to watch. You can read as much as you want or go out with friends as often as you want. The choice is yours and yours only.
This is also a perfect time to try new things that you didn’t get a chance to try while you were in a relationship. Take that dance class, hike that new trail. You can even adjust your eating habits or completely change your diet if you want. Feel free to make your own choices and follow your interests.
You get to focus on your healing and growth
This is one of the best upsides to being single in your 30s because by now you have a clearer sense of who you are as an individual. Therefore, you get to tweak your inner self without having to worry about anyone else involved. One of the things I would’ve loved to tell my younger self was that “it’s okay to change your mind at any time.” This is a great time to heal from your past and from your childhood.
Forgive yourself for anything you hold resentment towards. Release expectations you may have placed on yourself that are weighing you down. This is also a great time to start therapy if you’ve been thinking about it. You have the time and energy for it now. Read books you’ve been wanting to read, listen to podcasts that will elevate you, take courses you’ve been wanting to learn from, hire that coach, the possibilities are endless.
This is also the time to focus on your self-care like never before. Give yourself compassion and love for everything you’ve been through during your 30+ years of life. I’m sure it hasn’t been a smooth journey. As I mentioned above, you can begin therapy or hire a coach. You don’t have to heal and grow on your own. It is safe and okay to get additional help if it feels right to you.
You get to improve your relationship with money
Being single in your 30s is a great opportunity to work on your relationship with money. Money matters whether you want to believe that or not. This is a perfect time to work on your abundance mindset so that you can provide a comfortable life for yourself, now. Read personal finance books, listen to podcasts, etc. When you take back your power by healing your relationship with money, it will benefit you in the long run. You’ll lose the need to depend on others and once you’re ready to date, you’ll do so from a more elevated mental state.
You can reconnect with friends and build community
Sometimes in relationships it’s easy to “lose yourself” in it. You may have lost touch with friends or primas for one reason or another. This is a great time to reconnect with people you’ve been missing in your life. You have the time and energy to do that now. You can even take trips with friends or visit them if they don’t live near you. The best part is that you can take as many trips as you want simply because you can :).
This is also a great time to make new friends. Join online communities of people who resonate with you. Friendships can start online and develop overtime. If you want to meet new people in person, Meetup is a great way to do that. You can select groups with your common interests in your location. That’s what I’ve been using recently.
You get to reevaluate your future
After focusing on your healing and positive growth, you also get to choose how you want to proceed with your life. This is the best part of being single in your 30s. You know yourself on a deeper level and are taking what you learned from all of your previous life experiences. This is a great combination giving you the most clarity you’ve ever had before and that’s something to be grateful for!
By now you should know, more than ever, what you want your next relationship to look like (if you want one). You get to decide the boundaries you will implement in your future relationships. Create a list of qualities you desire your next partner to have but most importantly, decide how you want to feel in that relationship. You get to choose how you want your life to look and feel like going forward. Maybe it’s time to relocate to another place you’ve been eyeing for years. The world is your playground and you get to choose how your life unfolds.
One final upside to being single in your 30s is that you get to fall in love with yourself again. If you’ve never experienced self-love and acceptance in the past, the time is now. You are a unique and special individual as you are right now. I hope you know that. Being in a relationship has nothing to do with your worthiness so embrace this season of your life and choose yourself over and over again.
I hope something landed for you from this post. Are you currently single? How do you feel about it? Are you embracing and accepting it like I am? I’d love to hear from you. Feel free to DM me on Instagram and of course, make sure to follow me on there too. And finally, make sure to sign up for my newsletter HERE. Thank you for reading!
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