In honor of my birthday, I decided to share a personal post today consisting of birthday reflections I’ve gathered from time in solitude. During this season of my life, I’ve had the opportunity of going within. There has been so much growth taking place this past year so I figured it would be a good time to close it out with these reflections.
Last year today feels like it was a completely different timeline. Okay, maybe I’m exaggerating a bit but a lot has happened in the past year. First, I want to share how significant my birthday is to me. I use November 9 as a reset where I go within and question where I am, and where I want to go.
Turning 35 (2 years ago) hit me like a ton of bricks. It served as a wake up call that eventually led to me ending the long term relationship and engagement I was in at the time. I actually gave myself the deadline to do this by my 36th birthday. (He moved out around 2 weeks prior to that). So last year today I was newly single for the first time in my adult life.
I want to remind you that I am a First-Gen Mexican woman. All my mom has ever really wanted for me has been to get married and have kids. So breaking the news to her that I was planning on ending my engagement was a big deal. To my surprise though, both of my parents have been extremely supportive through it all. They are my greatest blessing and gift from God.
As I thought about this birthday reflections blog, I couldn’t help but remember where I was last year today. As mentioned previously, I was newly single for the first time in my adult life. It didn’t help that I decided to stay in Charlotte after the breakup despite not having family or a support system here. Last winter was one of the loneliest and most difficult seasons of my life but I did get to face my feelings and heal.
Last year today, I didn’t have any friends in the area. I was barely showing up for my new business because of everything going on. It was difficult taking care of my health and body. I was also not compassionate with myself and felt a bunch of shame and guilt for everything. It was a rough time.
To be completely honest, I still can’t believe it’s already November. This month has hit me like no other and it’s only the second week. I’m not sure if the time change has something to do with it too or what, but I’ve felt so many different emotions this month ranging from pure gratitude and joy to sadness and longing.
One of my birthday reflections is that I’m grateful for is finally giving myself the permission to express (or release) my feelings. It helps that I’m currently living on my own (well, with my dog Reiki) so I have the space to do whatever I want at anytime at home. This includes crying if I feel like it, which I have these past days.
Lately, I’ve prioritized time in solitude in order to invite whatever wants and needs to be “seen.” Some of those things have included healing generational trauma. Like, physically feeling the sorrow and pain that some of my ancestors experienced…then balling it out. Yup, it’s some deep shit.
The more I sit in silence the more healing takes place. I’ve made the intention to do this with an open mind, choosing to take an outsider perspective. Some things simply want to be seen. We don’t have to question or judge them. Just see them for what they are y ya.
My silent meditations have led to major breakthroughs these past weeks (inspiring these birthday reflections). I feel so much more peace now regarding my love life and future. Although some of it has been heavy and rough, it was necessary in order to progress in my life’s journey. I really encourage you to sit in silence for as long as you can. I’ve found that sitting in silence for an hour has led to the most breakthroughs for me but I’m sure half an hour can benefit you too.
7 Intentions for chapter 37
Since my birthday acts as a reset for my life, I figured I’ve mention some of the intentions I’ve set for this chapter. One of the first ones is to invite more flow into my life. I’m choosing to release the need to control how things will happen or a specific timeline. I’m focusing on attracting my desires into my physical experience instead of feeling like I’m forcing or chasing them.
Another intention is to progress in my love life. I feel more ready than ever to enter a new intentional long term relationship with the man of my dreams. I’m continuing to do the inner work to prepare myself for this. However, I also recognize that healing is not a destination. I know that it is safe to be in a relationship while continuing to grow and evolve with my partner by my side.
A few other intentions for chapter 37 are the following:
- Spend more quality time with my parents
- Improve my Spanish…feel more comfortable speaking it for work purposes
- Learn to play an instrument
- Travel internationally again and as much as possible
- Get a bike and spend a lot of time outdoors
I feel a renewed sense of purpose full of optimism and hope. It’s a beautiful thing. In hindsight, I know everything I’ve experienced in my lifetime needed to happen in order to get me to this very moment. I’m excited for whats to come and am open to receiving it with open arms!
I hope you enjoyed these birthday reflections. One of my final thoughts is that contrast is necessary in order to appreciate the “good” even more. So I am grateful for everything, including the hardships and pain I’ve experienced this past year. I’m thankful for the lessons and the progress I’ve had.
I almost forgot to mention where I am now. A year later, I now can proudly say that I have created a beautiful network of likeminded amigas in the area. I’ve been going out and doing fun things every weekend enjoying life. I also have grown my business and online community, showing up consistently with ease. Finally, I’ve implemented a consisten fitness routine and I’ve never felt healthier and fitter. Ever. Turning 37 is a blessing and I can’t wait to see what this new year has in store for me.
Let’s work together!
- If you’re really ready to create the life you want
- If you want to increase your happiness and feel more confident in who you are
- If you want to trust yourself more and live on purpose