As a First-Gen Latina, I don’t recall seeing women in my family choosing themselves when I was a child. The older I get, the more I recognize the importance of it. In this post I’m going to share what this means exactly, why it’s important and how to choose yourself once and for all.
What does “choose yourself” even mean? To me, it means prioritizing yourself. Prioritizing your needs, your wants, your values. This can be portrayed in a variety of ways. From implementing boundaries with friends and family to partaking in self-care activities perhaps.
Choosing yourself takes courage especially in our culture. I don’t know about you, but I didn’t grow up seeing women in my family putting themselves first. If anything, I saw the opposite and that’s what has always stuck with me. It’s a cycle until someone chooses to break it. That cycle breaker can be you for your lineage.
Why is choosing yourself important?
First of all, choosing yourself is not selfish. It is one of the best things you can do to change the world, in my opinion. Yes, it’s that deep. When you choose yourself, you step into your power because you are recognizing your divine self. When you prioritize your needs and wants, and you attain them (lol), you embody a higher frequency and that is the catalyst that changes the world. The way you carry yourself changes and those in your circle will notice it and begin to choose themselves too. It’s a trickle effect. The feelings of love and expansion become a normal part of life which bring harmony and peace.
Here are some ways to begin choosing yourself:
Get to know yourself
First and foremost, you have to know what your needs, wants and values actually are. Begin to develop a relationship with yourself if you find that you don’t yet know what you want. (It’s totally normal to feel this way). As I stated earlier, if you didn’t grow up seeing women who look like you choose themselves, it might be difficult for you to start. Anything is possible though.
You might know by now that I’m a big proponent of journaling. Have your pen and paper ready and simply ask yourself questions you want to know and then “free write” without judgment.
Some journal prompts you can use are the following:
- Who am I? Who do I want to be?
- What makes me happy?
- What do I value?
- If there were absolutely no limits, what would I want my life to look like?
Taking time for self-reflection can also help. You can meditate or walk in nature while intentionally being open to allow answers from your higher self. Finally, you can go back to meeting your inner child by doing things she likes. See where that leads you. You may find that you still have some things in common with her.
Learn how to say no
A great way to choose yourself is by learning and practicing saying NO. Establishing boundaries can be difficult at first but it is so worth it. Let’s be real, some of your relatives might not understand this concept at first, but you have to stand your ground. Even though you don’t need to explain yourself to anyone, sometimes it may help get your point across.
Next time you find your schedule being jam packed, say no to additional things you don’t have time and/or energy for. While you’re at it you can also practice asking for help. I find this is a challenging practice for some of my coaching clients. Most of the time, they find that their partners and/or family members actually enjoy helping when asked. You deserve the help so ask for it when needed.
When you practice self-love you are automatically choosing yourself. The trick is to get comfortable with loving yourself. One of the best ways you can begin to practice this is by spending time with yourself. Take yourself out on dates, go do fun things by yourself. By now hopefully you’ve gotten to know yourself better so now it’s a matter of taking steps to make yourself feel loved.
Fall in love with yourself. The practice of mirror work can help you if you feel stuck. You are the most important person that matters in your life. The relationship you have with yourself is the most vital because you are the one that will be with yourself until your last breath. That’s a guarantee. So choose yourself by practicing self-love.
Think of the future
You can begin to choose yourself by thinking of the future. What I mean by that is more so seeking guidance from your higher self. Ask yourself if what you’re doing today is bringing you closer to reaching your highest or “future self.” By thinking of your future self you’ll be more likely to make decisions based on what your future self wants. For example, you might know you want to experience certain things (relationship wise, career wise, travel wise etc). You might know you want your body to look a certain way. You might know you want to grow and be around like-minded people. All of these things require certain decisions that you have to make in the present moment. So start choosing those things for yourself today. Your future self will thank you for it.
There you have it. I hope you now know how to choose yourself. Trust that you are always at the right place at the right time. There’s so many cliches that I believe to be true such as everything happens for a reason. Trust that you are making the right decisions for yourself and hopefully this helps you continue to choose yourself. Embrace your journey with the intention of continuing to evolve. Finally, don’t overthink it! Make yourself a priority and watch how not only your life but those around you begin to change for the better.
One final thought is for you parents out there. It can feel out of the question to choose yourself if you have children you love and care for but I’d argue that by choosing yourself, it will benefit your family even more. We’ve all heard that analogy of the airplane masks. You have to put yours on first before helping others. Also, you can’t fully give with a half filled or empty cup. You have to prioritize yourself as best you can. Take baby steps (no pun intended haha). Do something you enjoy for 10 minutes a day. Create those boundaries and ask for help. People want to help you!
I hope this post landed for you. Begin to choose yourself TODAY. You deserve it.
Let’s work together!
- If you’re really ready to create the life you want
- If you want to increase your happiness and feel more confident in who you are
- If you want to trust yourself more and live on purpose