Depending on the season of your life, there’s times where you can encounter solitude. Although sometimes it’s needed and desired, there’s times where it gets old. In this post I’m going to share some ways to overcome loneliness because at the end of the day, you have choice and freedom over your life.
You may or may not know that I’ve gone through a major life transition involving ending a long term relationship not too long ago. After a decision like that, a wave of loneliness came over me especially being that I live away from my immediate family. I do have to say that I benefited from the solitude in the beginning because I got to heal on my own terms. However, shortly after, I needed to take some steps to overcome the loneliness. Here are some ways to do that.
Change your outlook
One of the most important steps to overcoming loneliness is changing your view of it. When you think about it, the circumstance is not “good” or “bad.” It just “is.” Therefore, when you come up with stories of how things “should” be and begin to spiral down an unhelpful path, that will cause it to feel worse. As mentioned above, chances are, this is a temporary season. Blaming yourself for the current circumstance will only cause you to feel worse about it.
A way to change this is by shifting the focus with a gratitude perspective. You can use journaling to do this or simply just think about it during a walk or a bath.
Some questions to ponder are the following:
- What is this season of solitude teaching me about myself?
- What does loneliness mean to me?
- What are some things that trigger feeling lonely?
- What are some ways I can step out of my comfort zone today?
- What are all the things I’m grateful for during this season of my life?
By questioning your thoughts on your current circumstance, it can bring new perspectives and clarity. Lastly, try connecting with nature to help you feel a connection to something bigger than you. I find that spending time outside helps me feel connected to Source and it decreases the feeling of loneliness.
Put yourself out there
The next way to overcome loneliness is by putting yourself out there. Depending on your personality type, this can be easier said than done. It can feel like you’re the only adult feeling lonely but that’s not the case. Before adulthood, it felt easier making friends since we spent our time around people in our age group. So as adults, it takes effort to meet new people. It takes courage to put yourself out there but it’s worth it.
Some of the ways you can put yourself out there are by joining meetup groups. Meetup is a great resource for this. There’s groups for every type of interest from nature lover groups to dance or business groups. If you can’t find groups that interest you, you’re able to create your own on that platform as well. The purpose of this platform is to meet people in person so this is a great way to overcome loneliness.
Other ways to put yourself out there are by asking coworkers or other acquaintances out to lunch or to a happy hour. By doing this, you have the opportunity to nurture these relationships to something more. The caveat here is to choose wisely and to remember that you are the one in charge of your energy and time. If you find that you actually don’t vibe with certain people, then know when to implement boundaries and remind yourself that it’s OKAY to set them.
Reconnect with old friends
Another way to overcome loneliness is by reconnecting with old friends. You may have people waiting to reconnect with you. It can feel difficult to be the one reaching out, especially if a lot of time has passed but if they’re true friends, they’ll understand and be happy to have you in their lives again.
Yes, you can make new friends but by reconnecting with old friends, you could find newfound connections. There may be friends available to you all along. It’s up to you to make the initial step and see where it leads. I know for me, I went years without communicating with one of my childhood best friends (bc, life) but we recently reconnected and our friendship is stronger than ever. I love seeing old friends “adulting” now, as homeowners, married women and/or mothers. It’s a blessing to reconnect with them.
Try new activities
The next way to overcome loneliness is to try new activities. Take classes to learn a new skill, volunteer your time, take up a new hobby etc. Instead of focusing on depending on other people providing companionship or community, shift your focus to doing things you enjoy. The ironic part here is that you might end up making new friends unintentionally so it’s a win win!
You can also spend time around people. What I mean by that is taking yourself on solo coffee or lunch dates. Being around people even if you’re doing your own thing, can help combat the feeling of loneliness. By putting yourself in environments like this, it also creates opportunities to make new friends.
Make friends online
I saved this one for the end because I feel like it’s the simplest one to try. When it comes to overcoming loneliness, you have millions of people to connect with online. Similar to joining Meetup groups, you can also join facebook groups or other online communities where you share common interests with the people in the group. You can also follow pages on other social media platforms of like minded communities. You can even find membership communities that offer community support.
The plus side of making friends online is that it feels slightly less intimidating since you’re behind a screen as opposed to in person. Another plus is that you’ll be able to connect with these friends at any time of the day since it doesn’t require being somewhere in person. A con is that it’s not as intimate as a new in person friendship. These online friendships still count though and they can truly help during a lonely season of life. Finally, you can ultimately meet in person if/when it feels right.
One final thought I have on how to overcome loneliness is to remember that this happens to so many people at one point or another. Being gentle with yourself is one of the best things you can do during this time. At the end of the day all you have is yourself and that’s something to remember. This is why self-love is so important. When you choose yourself and enjoy your own company, the loneliness doesn’t feel as strong. So use this time to reconnect with yourself and become your own best friend in the process.
Let me know your thoughts on this post! Have you experienced a season of loneliness? Feel free to DM me on Instagram at any time. Also, follow me on Tik Tok! Yes, your girl is on there now. And finally, make sure you sign up for my newsletter so you never miss a blog post or other things I’m up to! Thank you for reading!!
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